Ma’a Fafine mo Famili’s Transformational Leadership program is empowering women and girls to lead with compassion, cultural pride, and confidence. By fostering inner growth and self-awareness, the initiative is sparking change in families, workplaces, and communities, demonstrating how women’s and girls’ leadership can strengthen the heart of Tongan society.

Traditionally, Tongan society places men as heads of households, community and political leaders, roles deeply intertwined with church and economic influence. Women are underrepresented in decision-making roles compared to men and it is this gap that motivates 89-year old advocate, Betty Blake to focus on upskilling women in leadership.

Betty is the Director of Ma’a Fafine mo Famili (MFF), a local non-profit organisation established in 2008 and empowers women by providing education on human rights, socio-economic skills, and political knowledge. Over time, MFF has expanded its services to include elderly care, health checks, counselling, and nutrition.

In January 2025, MFF conducted its 9th Transformational Leadership training for 40 women and girls from across Tongatapu. The training focused on personal and cultural growth, highlighting qualities like loto-hangamālie (composure) and loto-lelei (kindness) and values such as fakaʻapaʻapa (respect) and moʻui fakafāmili (family-centred living), showing that transformation begins within and spreads outward. Betty describes it as “a shift from traditional leadership models toward inner transformation, emphasising that home is the first school for shaping respectful, compassionate leaders.”

Leadership programs usually benefit those with education and social connections, often leaving out women in informal sectors or rural areas. These trainings typically aim to promote career advancement or higher social status. However, many women and young girls in Tonga lack access to such opportunities.
Betty notes that household discipline often involves physical punishment, harsh tones, and sarcasm. Managing family stress usually falls on women, increasing their pressure and sometimes sparking family disputes. Since women are key role models for young girls, empowering women’s self-esteem, self-awareness, and kindness is essential. Betty believes that the potential to make responsible choices and positive influence comes from strengthening internal self-esteem and self-kindness, which then infects others.

Three months after the training, MFF followed up with participants to assess progress. Betty shared, “It reassures us that those candles still glow out there, showing we are making positive change.”

“I don’t have to be labelled a leader to be one. The training, rooted in religious values, resonated with me at home. I used to be complacent, but after the training, I listened more and took responsibility. My family noticed my efforts, joking about a ‘holy spirit’ change. Sharing these experiences helps others connect with their families.” – Olive Toli, training participant

A mother described how her 6-year-old son noticed her change: when he asked why she was no longer frustrated, she explained the training lessons. Her son encouraged her to keep attending. This mother, once strict, now listens and bonds more deeply with her son, who has medical needs.

The ripple effect extended to a female prison warden who said, “The training gave me empathy and insight to treat prisoners with dignity for who they are, and not what they have done. I learned to keep calm (loto hangamālie) and listen deeply through talocalcaneal (open dialogue). This transformed how I lead and how my colleagues handle difficult situations.”

“Transforming mindset and behaviour starts within us. We cannot teach others unless we are transformed first. Change spreads from our inner circle outward. We must live the example.” – Betty Blake

MFF’s Transformational Leadership training empowers Tongan women and girls by nurturing self-awareness, cultural pride, and compassionate leadership. By focusing on internal change that radiates outward, the program builds stronger families and communities while preserving Tonga’s cultural identity and values.